This compendium of suffering contains hundreds of real stories illustrating just how much life sucks. Enjoy, and share your own tales of woe.

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Top 5 Tales of Woe

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I am a Sasquatch of a human being (1/4/10) -  Arnold, Age 40, Iowa

I am a 40-year-old virgin. I have never been on a date or had a women look at me twice. I can't hold a job and live in my mother's basement. To top it off, I routinely break out in a rash at random points on my body. After a few days the rash turns bright red and purple then becomes painful to the touch. A day or so later, the now dark purple masses break open and ooze a bloody liquid that is sticky and soaks into my clothes, where it forms a hard shell that gets entangled with my body hair. Speaking of which, I am sheathed in a thick carpet of hair that covers my entire body except for the top of my head, of course. I smell bad too. If I manage to get myself out of my easy chair and break even the slightest sweat, the perspiration turns into the most putrid of odors, which stains my cloths and the smell will not wash out. I am a Sasquatch of a human being. When my sperm donor ran off and left my whore of a mother, I should have been aborted and dropped into a dumpster.

I could be in beautiful Italy (1/4/10) -  Anzanio, Age 27, Texas

My mother died when I was 8 from giving birth to my pissant brother. I could be living in beautiful Florence, Italy, but I was immediately put up for adoption in the "good old" USA. I was raised by these fosters who constantly gave their blood-daughter everything free, and me nothing. When I was in 2nd grade, a pencil was thrown into my eye, and now I have an eye "disease" that disqualifies me from the military and has left me with bad vision and color blindness. My girlfriend was killed by a drunk driver when I was 16. I've never been to a university because of the bad grades I had in school from depression when she died. Nobody ever lets you live that down. I have an Italian last name, so Spanish people hire me and harass me because I'm white. Low blood sugar makes me feel like my veins are constantly on fire. I've dropped all my "friends" in this state because they're lying, using bastards who think their "act" works on me, only when I get tired of playing them back. I went from $15 an hour at age nineteen down to $7.50 at age 23 and up to $9 an hour at age 26. Oh, and I live in a shitty one-bedroom apartment with do-it-yourself furniture.

Alone in a dust bowl (1/4/10) -  Anonymous, Age 28, London

My childhood was shit. I was bullied by everybody, and my parents and siblings hated me too. (I was beaten by my family more times than I was by the bullies at school.) I had no one to turn to, so I wrote my thoughts and feelings in a diary. My mother is such a nosey, evil bitch, she read my diary and humiliated me with the rest of the family on a regular basis. I spent almost all my childhood alone in my room, hoping for a better life. The only thing I did to get away from my misery was to masturbate over porn - but my mother found that too from her regular room raids, and I was tormented even more by her. I tried to kill myself with a knife many times, but just didn't have the guts to go through with it. I went to university and barely passed (after being kicked out for failing my 2nd year and had to re-sit my exams), and I got nothing to show for it as I made no friends and just have memories of humiliating myself and being alone all the time.

I recently bought a flat, but almost all of my wages go to pay off the mortgage. The flat is a shit hole that needs a lot of work to fix, and at the moment I am living like tramp in my own home because I cannot afford to hire somebody. I sleep on the floor in a home that is full of dust - I think I am getting a skin disease from the dust exposure. I can barely afford to pay the bills and I have nowhere else to go. I work in a dead-end job, and think about suicide at least 10 times a day. I work a 60-hour week but only get paid for 37.5 because I would rather work for free than go home and think about my miserable life. Because of this my eye sight has got progressively worse and I can never rectify it. Add in that my boss thinks I am a worthless shit, so I am probably going to get fired pretty soon.

The only thing I do in my free time is to jerk off to porn. I have no girlfriend, because I am short and ugly and speak too quietly for anybody to understand, and also sound like a freak (because I rarely speak to anybody). The people at work for some reason think I am gay (I have nothing against homosexuals, but I am pretty confident I am a heterosexual). I feel so lonely I cry myself to sleep and wish I could change the next day - I wish I could be tall and handsome, sociable and exciting with lots things to say. But unfortunately every time I awaken it is still in a dust-bowl of home, all alone and still fucked up. I hate my life and I just want to die. I wish I had the strength to either kill myself or to change, but I don't want to be this way forever. I so want a life!

I hate living in the US (1/4/10) -  Anonymous, Age 43, UK

I gave up my career so my husband could stay in the military until retirement. We moved to Europe where I really feel at home for the first time in my life. Now he wants to stay in the military for 4 1/2 more years! The worst thing is that they are sending him to the Caribbean for a year - alone - and then forcing us to move back to the US. I would rather die! We have a nice life and my kids are getting a wonderful education plus they have full medical care here. Why would we want to go back to the states?! That place sucks! If I didn't have to stick around to protect my children, I would kill myself rather than be forced to move back there. To make things worse, at the moment I have no job and certainly no career. Now we are getting divorced just because I hate living in the US! My life has always sucked and just when I find a place to call home - it is pulled from under me. Hell, I think I may just go ahead and do it. I just have to make my death look like an accident. Car wreck won't work - I'd probably live! I've tried going into the wrong part of town alone at night but murderers take no notice of me. Any suggestions?

My unborn baby died (1/4/10) -  Anonymous, Age 40, Pennsylvania

My beautiful, healthy baby boy died 3 days before he was due. I'll never be the same again.

Bitched at 24/7 by parents (1/4/10) -  Casey, Age 14, California

My parents - aka, the bitches - fucking told me that I wasn't to go on the computer any day of the week including weekends, I can't step outside of my house except for school and after school (which I have every fucking day of the week including weekends once again), I cannot use my phone after ten (it has to be stored away under the bitches' bed). They make me practice the piano a good three times a day and don't give a damn that I have homework to do. I can't even go to soccer practice anymore and soccer's my life, completely and wholly. I get bitched at 24/7 and am blamed for being the fucked-up, no-good child just because, and I quote, I "don't smile enough," and am apparently "unappreciative of all the money wasted on me." WTF? I don't even complain and get straight A's. What the hell do they want from me? I get 5 hours of sleep every single night. Maybe I could put up with this, but guess what? I'm too fucking ugly. My life is fucked and so is my face.

In love with my best friend (1/4/10) -  Anonymous, Age 20, US

I fell in love with my best friend. It was amazing. We did so many fun things together...only he had a girlfriend. Things with her were getting tense, and finally he took a break from her after an ordeal where she may or may not have been cheating. So we went on a date. The guy screws me, then tells me I just wasn't her. So here we are, two months later, I'm still in love with him, and he treats me so much differently. He doesn't look at me the way he did before, and I miss that. Not just because I love him, but because that's what made him such a cool friend. And because of these feelings, I can't leave him. He's all I have. I just want him to be happy...but at the same time it's tearing me apart. What's worse? I got pregnant. Lucky my body couldn't handle it and miscarried, huh?

Husband likes speedballs and hookers (1/4/10) -  Anonymous, Age 27, California

My jackass husband tricked me into marrying him immediately following my recovery from H. He just got out of prison for 5 years. He had found Jesus and wanted to "help" me. He was my knight in shining armor until we decided to move to California to make babies and live happily ever after. Three years later, I find myself on the computer and him drunk on the floor of my own apartment, that I had to get because he kicked me out of our house after he got out of jail so he could indulge in internet porn and phone sex (with the bill in my name, of course). He cheats on me every time I go to the bathroom and rumor has it he's got AIDS. His ever-growing drug habit went from mean alcoholic to fucking spaz meth head, the last 30 days of which I thought were misery because he disappeared on me with no heads up to go on Dead Tour and sleep around. Turns out I was much better off. Besides, the only reason he is with me now is because I had to go to Oregon to give consent to the emergency room to save his life for the 4th time in 3 years. He likes speedballs and hookers. Arriving at ICU they handed me his belongings, which consisted of condoms and a spoon, not even a smoke for me. His friends, whom he adores, robbed him while he was on his hooker vacation, so now we get to spend some quality time together. That means I can buy him shit and get kicked out of my house because my roomies don't like him, and I hate his stupid dog. He bites me and can't walk on a leash. He's buying a gun tomorrow. He's gonna try to shoot his dog then me. I should have been the junkie.

Lesbian in love with a straight girl (1/4/10) -  Kinsey, Age 26, California

My girlfriend isn't a lesbian, and that's a problem, because I am. It's my own fault for falling in love with a straight girl. I knew all along that it would come to this. She doesn't want it to end. She begs me to stay because we are soul mates. I'm so isolated and we never go out and do anything because she doesn't want anyone to know about us. I've wasted three years of my prime 20s and have lost all sense of myself. I am miserable. Whoever said that bedding straight girls was fun didn't have to do it for three years. One night, maybe - but three years and she has yet to put her mouth on it. I am almost ready to pay for it.

Stood up via text (1/4/10) -  M., Age 30, Illinois

I was hung over but still went ahead with a date I had with a woman I'd met only once before from the internet. There was definitely a physical attraction, but we were not on each other's wavelengths. So we hung out for an hour and we were not really talking to each other too much, then we went into the theatre to see a movie. The movie theatre was empty, and before we sat down, she said she had to go the Ladies. I sat there in the dark for about twenty minutes when I got a text message from her telling me that she was sorry but she was not feeling well and had to go home and that she would contact me later in the week. So I texted her back and said no problem and that she would make some guy very happy and that I was really glad to have met her. I then went home and I would have cried if I could have. And I am not exaggerating, she actually cancelled dates about six times before this happened.

She's like a cancer (1/4/10) -  Atom, Age 34, Atlanta

I'm 34, married to Satan's retarded daughter, who has become like a cancer in my ass. I practiced abstinence against my will. I'm in so much debt I robbed Peter to pay Paul. Now Peter is taking me to court and Paul is still mad. I had 1 1/2 year of college, 14 years ago. Dead end job after dead end job after dead end job. Weed is my sanctuary - just don't tell my wife - she'll fuck that up too. My only joy was another woman. Oh, but she is married to some asshole. I want to swap spouses, but you know you can't get rid of cancer.

Vitiligo, agoraphobia, and a cheating girlfriend (1/4/10) -  James, Age 22, Australia

During my formative years, my mother was a violent/suicidal alcoholic and my father avoided coming home at night like the plague. I pissed the bed until I was 12. I almost died when I was 8 due to a severe kidney infection and when I was 9 I developed vitiligo - an autoimmune condition that causes you to lose pigmentation of the skin. Not only that, but it spread to my penis, which did wonders for my self-esteem. I started a long-term relationship with a woman who treated me like shit and cheated on me two months in, but spared me the info for a year, so by then it was a lot harder to just move on. My family moved to another state, my dog died, and then I developed panic disorder and agoraphobia (can't leave the house). Since then things have only gone downhill I now have major depression, my girlfriend is becoming ever more distant, and we haven't had sex in almost 6 months. I have no friends, no job, and no life.

He just wants to stick it in (1/4/10) -  Anonymous, Age 40, Arizona

I guess I'm supposed to be happy that he has a job. The father of my kids never did, but now my second husband does and people act like I'm supposed to just be glad that I've got a man with a job. I'm miserable. The sex is horrible. It was only 10 years ago, after the kids' father and I broke up that I even had my first orgasm. It was like a sexual awakening. But what was the point with little limp ass dick around? I can't even get laid right, not even once. That orgasm was SELF induced. I feel like I'm in my sexual prime and in some sort of prison. I want to be touched, lusted after. This has nothing to do with love. My husband loves me. He's a loving, faithful man. But that's part of the problem. He won't even try to give me any pleasure sexually. And the attempts he rarely makes are feeble at best. He just wants to stick it in and doesn't care if I orgasm or not. He will sometimes apologize for being so quick but isn't willing to do a damn thing about it. I'm so miserable. Is it wrong to just want a real live sexy man to fuck your brains out and make you feel attractive and sexy just once in your fucking life?

Wife is a fat, lazy stoner (1/4/10) -  Chris, Age 55, California

My personal life is a living nightmare. I have been married 27 years, have three kids and am eligible for retirement in one month. My wife is 130 pounds overweight, smokes pot all day, is slovenly, lazy, has been sexually dysfunctional for the last 12 years and has no interest in keeping a clean house. Our two cats and one dog roam freely inside and out. Cat fur is all over everything, including food stuffs in the kitchen, stuck to grease on the stovetop, on the floor, etc. She is in a major depression and completely out of reality, unable to function normally, and shows no interest in anything other than to make sure I get something to eat each day. What happens when I retire?

I've been sick so long (1/4/10) -  Anonymous

I've been sick for so long I can't remember what it's like to be healthy.

Why does life hurt so bad? (1/4/10) -  Melissa, Age 34, Pennsylvania

I am so tired of being poor. My husband has been unemployed for 8 months now and cannot find work and I am disabled. Every penny of his unemployment and my disability go for our bills. We have .12 left at the end of every month. We have not been able to buy any food for months, yet we make too much to get any help. I only eat once a day and that is just ramen noodles or something a family member gives us. I am so tired of living like this and being depressed all of the time. I got rid of every bill that we did not need and the rest are utilities or loans. We even make too much now to get heating assistance because the state lowered the income guidelines. I know my situation is not as terrible as some; at least I have a roof over my head, but it is like a prison to me. I can't even afford gas in my car to go anywhere. I don't know what to do anymore. Why does life have to hurt so bad?

Over before it started  -  Robert, Age 26, Kentucky 

My life was over before it started. When I was seven I was in a house fire that resulted in 80% burns and no life. I will probably never have any real relationship and no one will never take me seriously because they will never be able to look past my scars. I have been to college and it seems i am so depressed about life that i cant do anything with it and I have already got it planted in my head that no one will hire me anyway. Its very hard knowing you are going to be alone the rest of your life and that your such a big loser that you cant even live. I would probably kill myself but I am to afraid to do that. 

I end up with bruises -  Ted, Age 17, Denver

I cant go a day without punching myself. It is the only thing I get pleasure from, so I end up with bruises and I cry myself to sleep because the only thing I enjoy is painful. I tried to kill myself once, but then I stopped because my mom threw a beer bottle at me

Avoid women from Florence, KY  -  Danny, Age 27, Massachusetts 

I am a college graduate and a military officer.  I met this piece of white trash in Kentucky, and knocked her up the one time I fucked her.  Since I'm in the military, this bitch is guaranteed child support, which I'm sure she spends on Ho-Ho's and scratch tickets instead of our daughter.  Her family hates me, and I have to jump through my ass just to see my kid.  Needless to say, this is putting a dent in my financial situation.  The moral of the story is:  avoid women from Florence, KY.

I need a lobotomy  -  Anonymous, Age 20, Minnesota

My life sucks.  My fiancé, who I've been with for three years and is my best and only friend, is in prison until next May.  The visits are non-contact so I can't even hug him.  I have severe depression, anxiety and psychosis but my parents think I have a vitamin deficiency.  I've been in and out of the crazy house for most of my life.  I'd kill myself (I've tried to many times in the past) but I have credit card debt of over a $1000, plus a funeral would be very expensive too, and I don't want to burden my parents with that.  I have a nice body and shit and can get a guy pretty easily, but my mind is so fucked up that they all run for it.  I tried convincing my shrink that I needed a lobotomy but he just raised my medication.  Life sucks goat's balls.

Smothered by debt  - Philip, Age  33, Texas

I'm so deeply in debt that I can't even breathe. I have a student loan debt that is enough to buy a huge fucking house.  But instead, because of the debt, we have to live in a shitty little house that leaks when it rains and smells like dog urine.  And, for the pleasure of taking out the enormous student loans that I will be repaying for 35 years (that's until I'm almost 70 fucking years old!), I get to work in a job that sucks so hard I want to blow my brains out every day I set foot in the door.  All I ever encounter is the ass-end of humanity.  I would settle for a job that is simply "thankless," since what I get instead is people constantly threatening either to sue me or kill me.  It makes me want to fake my own death and assume a false identity. 

I am slowly evaporating  - Josh, Age 28, Brooklyn

I have a miserable life. All my life, all I ever wanted to do was act. I went to a great school, dated hotties, played in a rock band, I was on TV a few times. Everything was fine until I met Her. She ruined my life. A 40-year-old wolf-temptress in sheep's clothing. I got kicked out of my place. She said stay with me. Now 2 1/2 years later I haven't acted in 1 1/2 years and she gets jealous every time I walk out the door. She got pregnant, on purpose I think, and now instead of touring or otherwise pursuing my career, I change diapers, make bottles of formula and work at job I hate. Every time the heat comes on the ceiling leaks. I live in a crappy neighborhood. My cat pees on everything I own. Every time I walk the streets or ride the subway I expect terrorism. My "wife" is a controlling old hag, my job sucks, my baby demands all my energy and attention, and I am slowly evaporating. I have an insipid miserable life.

All this and a brain tumor\ - Ray, Age 39, Florida

I came from a fucked up family.  Got railroaded for child support from some bitch.  Been paying for 14 years now.  I never see the kid.  I lost $25,000 dollars in the stock market this year.  I was diagnosed with a  brain tumor early this year.  It was removed and the operation was successful fortunately.  Then I lost my job.  I've been unemployed for three months. I'm not paying child support and getting farther behind.  I don't know what I will do.  I keep sending out resumes but can't find a job.  I worry my resume looks bad because I've changed jobs too frequently. If I get too far behind in the child support I am afraid I will go to jail.

Lousy timing - David, Age 25

I got out of the army on September 10, 2001. It was one of the happiest days in my life. I got out with a great resume as a graphic designer and was certain I had a great chance at working in a big city. Well, everyone knows what happen the day after I got out of the army. That's pretty much that. No one is hiring designers. And, oh yeah, me and my girlfriend of 7 years moved to Jersey to try to work in the city. We're living with my mother and since we can't find good jobs we can't move out. Since we can't move out our relationship is going to complete shit. There's more, but who would read it?

Nosy bitch mother - Zelda, Age 14

Ok, so I'm a sophomore in high school.  I've been smoking pot for the past year and drinking as well.  Last May, I stopped drinking.  My mom recently went into my email account (my password was saved) and she read my sent messages.  I wrote about sexual behavior (no sex!), lots of marijuana use, sneaking out to a college party with a friends, and trying DXM a few times.  My mom then called my dad home and he read my emails.  Then she broke into my locked box and read my diary.  They now know everything about my life, and are putting me in counseling and perhaps rehab.  All I've really done is smoke weed. 

I literally get straight A's and have for the past three years. I'm very physically attractive, and guys have always come easily to me. I'm popular and generally content with myself, but for some reason I've been very depressed for the past two years. I have been in counseling for cutting my wrists last September, and everyone kept putting off a medication evaluation.  My mom is a heinous bitch, and I can't even write down my feelings in a diary without having to fear she will read it.  She's taken away all my escapes.  I almost killed myself the other day.  I don't know how I will get through this.  I can't even masturbate anymore without feeling guilty.  I hate my mother for what she has done to ruin my life. 

I have porno on the web - Laura, Age 20

I am 20 years old and have porno on the web. I was lured in by the money factor and never got paid. I got fired from my real job. I am too poor to afford a lawyer and have to just deal with it, because that's what you do. I hate myself and I don't like people very much anymore. I see no point in existing, and I am a fucked-up loser. It sucks being attractive. All you get are men wanting to cum in your mouth and women wanting to kill you. Life is fun and reproducing is very important so we can continue this beautiful positive thing.

Can't resist older men  - Rui, Age 19

I was born into a broken family. My bastard father left my mom for a filthy whore and only crawls back to us when he runs out of money. My mom has to sell herself to get us out of his massive debts. My sister hates everyone and utters no more than a syllable to anyone in the family. If we hadn't known better, she may as well as well be autistic. I have a bright future and a good head on my shoulders, but was forced to drop out of school because my mom couldn't afford to keep me educated. I refuse to whore for the family, but can't keep my hands off older men. At last count, I have been with my 9th older man. History repeats itself each and every time, but I am unable to break myself out of this vicious cycle of obsession and heartbreak.

I am now in love with this 59-year-old professor whom I run into often at the suburban mall near the dinky hut that we live in. I am also 4 months pregnant and freshly dumped by the last older man that I'd been with. I want to abort the loathsome thing growing inside me, but I don't want to further damage my reproductive organs. I have previously undergone 7 abortions. I am bitter and miserable, and at 19, have lived and suffered a million lifetimes over and over again. By the time you read this, I would've poisoned me and my baby. Goodbye.

Plastic surgery destroyed my face  - Charles, Age 41

I've destroyed my face via cosmetic surgery, a simple procedure that went horribly wrong. Corrective surgery only made things worse. I look so horrific I can't leave my house. The 24/7 anxiety has made most of my hair fall out.  I can't believe just 2 years ago people were confusing me with Brad Pitt.  I know suicide would be too hard on my family, and my surgeon, he feels terrible. To make matters worse, I really like the guy. He's a wonderful person and has helped countless people. Hopefully the stress on my heart will end this suffering very soon.

Calling al Qaeda  - Anonymous, Age 40-something

I'm in my mid 40s. Never finished college. Going bald. 100 lbs. overweight. Married to a bitch whose top priority is a clean toilet. Have a 7-year-old daughter who yells "Shut up, bitch!" to her mother. Her mother doesn't do anything about it. Have a job that sucks most of the time. No friends. Don't maintain contact with family. Don't want to, either, because they are assholes, anyway.

Bought a house because my mother-in-law decided it was time to. Work, work, work. Taking anti-depressants, which don't work too well. Not interested in sex anymore although I do like a woman with nice legs, but no desire to fuck them, either. Buy books and CDs and don't read/listen to them. Thousands of dollars wasted. Have not been to the dentist since 1986 and my teeth are all broken and chipped. Constant mouth sores.

Had an affair with a chubby redhead. She told me she was gay. Then married another guy. Now she insults me every time I cross her path. God, I hate her. I hate my family, all of them. I hate my job and the schmucks I'm forced to work with. Shit, I even hate you! Most of all, I hate myself. Too bad I'm such a chickenshit that I won't do myself in. Best hope now is a car crash, or cancer, or an Al Qaeda attack, or maybe even a meteorite somewhere with my name on it. Please?

We're both having his child   - Anonymous, Age 19

I've been with this guy for 3 years. I really love him, and don't think I could live without him. My childhood best friend is really good friends with him, and because I work so much, sees him more than I do. I come home one day, and find them having sex on the couch. it comes out that this has been going on basically since we've been together, and that she thinks she's pregnant with his child, which, by the way, so am I. I dropped out of college to be with him, and left my home, family, life, and was disowned. I have nothing left, no one who loves me.

I sit in our empty and quiet house (9/14/04)  -  Elizabeth, Age 21, Washington State 

Four weeks ago today I was 31 weeks pregnant. My husband and I were happy and couldn't wait until our daughter was born. Two days later her heart stopped and the day after that I had to deliver her dead. I had her in me for 24 hours before I was able to deliver. I kept wishing that she would cry while the nurses at the hospital cleaned her so my husband and I could see her. She never cried. Her cord was what killed her, it got tightly wrapped around her body while she was rolling around in me. Now, almost four weeks later, my husband and I sit in our empty and quiet house, haunted by our daughters beautiful sleeping face and wondering what we do now.


Misery Archive:

Top 5 Tales of Woe

Angst-Ridden Teens | Terrible Twenties 
Three hOrrific
| Forgettable Forties  
Feeble Fifties
 | Herpes Sucks 


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