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Angst-Ridden Teens

They made catchy little songs about how fat I was - Jessica, Age 17

When I was 12 I became anorexic because of the constant teasing I got about my weight (even though, in retrospect, I don't think I was overweight). Most of the teasing I got was from my family...I don't think they meant to cause my weight complex - its just how things go in my family: if someone has a problem, ride their ass about it. They even made up catchy little songs about how fat I was...All of this led to the self-esteem issues that I have now.

Anyways, I'm 17 now (98 lbs) and have attempted suicide twice. The first time I got about half way through slitting one wrist and then I got queasy at the sight of my own blood and passed out. When I came to the bleeding had stopped (I hadn't even pierced a main vein).  The second time, I downed a bottle of aspirin and a vodka chaser to go along with it. But I got caught while doing this and my mom rushed me to the hospital.

When they released me from the hospital they sent me to a madhouse. For the first two weeks I was there I didn't eat anything, and everyday they would strap me down and give me shots for "misbehaving". I was there a total of 6 weeks, during which I was raped repeatedly by one of the guards (that's how I lost my virginity)...he said he'd kill me if I told anyone, and I believed him.


I used to get home from school and cry - Anonymous, Australia, Age 18

I have had a stutter (speech problem) since I was about 6. I was teased all through primary school, up until high school, when the constant teasing slowed up a little bit. I used to just get home from school and cry. I have tried numerous smooth speech programs and event camps to try and stop my stutter, but nothing seems to help. The best I can do is live with it and try my best not to think about it. 

Meeting new people is very embarrassing, especially girls. I have built up a lot of anger from when the other kids used to tease me at school and I take it out on things and people, like my dad. I cant help it, I just get out of control, causing massive arguments. I wake up each morning not wanting to get out of bed, wishing it was night time so I could sleep again, shut the world out for another few hours. What job am I going to get with a severe stutter?


I'd kill everyone but I'm afraid I'd go to hell  - Anonymous, Washington, Age 17

I am a 17 year old virgin male who jacks off to internet porn everyday after school. I have no friends, I've never seen a real vagina and I think I have halitosis. I cry every afternoon and sometimes make fun of my own penis. There is no name for my disorder. I'd kill everyone but I'm afraid I'd go to hell. People say I smell like sh** and make fun of my car everywhere I go. I've worked at McDonald's for one year and haven't got a raise yet. 


I wish I never had this waste-of-time kid  - Heidi, Mount Vernon, Age 17

I'm 17 years old and I have a kid. No job. I dropped out of school last year. I live with my baby's father, a crazy bi-polar afro-fuck. I have no friends, the only friend I really have is a girl named oompa who is fat and nasty and thinks every guy in existence wants her nasty ass. I live in a little apartment on the west side of town, were Ii spend all of my time learning things about my baby like when he's sitting besides the vacuum cleaner and I yell "VROOM VROOM" he cries himself asleep.  I just wish I never had this waste of time kid and i wish the next time oompa comes over she hits me with her car and i fall over dead.


My sister is pregnant with the "grand masters" baby  - Tim, Mississippi, Age 18

I once lived in a nice suburb, had money, and a life. That is, until my mom and dad decided to give it all up for "GOD".  My parents gave all our money, including my money for college to this shitty cult leader.  Now we live in a travel trailer on a "compound" with 35 other fucked up people.  My 14 year-old sister is pregnant with the "grand masters" baby and my mom thinks this is great: It's a fucking "ACT OF GOD". NO NO NO, a 40 year old sick bastard has brainwashed them.  

It gets worse. I told them that I a gay, my dad beat the shit out of me.  He then held me down and raped me, after this he said that "GOD" told him this would "cure" me from being gay.  I wish that I could kill myself, but being I refuse to say that I am not gay, my parents have shipped me to the "church" reform building where I am under 24 hour a day surveillance.  I can not even take a shit without one of these fucked up "GOD" freaks praying for my soul.


My entire life is a mistake - Anonymous, Florida, Age 15

About a week ago I found out my entire life is a mistake. I was conceived the very last time my parents had sex 2 months after they broke up. I have no friends who really give a damn whether I live or die, and a girlfriend who doesn't put out and says that she wants to be with me for the rest of my life. And I know that isn't going to happen unless sex is involved soon. We have been dating for 9 months and I haven't so much as got jacked off. Although she has gotten her fair share. Here she comes now


I explained to her my crippling disease - Philip, Dublin, Age 16

I weigh 380 pounds, or at least that's what I weighed 2 weeks ago. Christmas is coming up so I reckon I'm gonna put on another 20 pounds. You see, I have a serious eating disorder. I've never had a girl in my life except for those girls over the Internet - thanx ladies. It can be quite lonely, can't it. I have no friends except for a lady over the Internet. I thought we got on well but when I explained to her my crippling disease she seemed to have other reasons for not talking to me, too many to mention apparently. 


I have marks on my neck - Tiffany Nicole, Indiana, Age 14

My mother died recently and in her will I was told to go live with my grandma {her mom} to be safe from my alcoholic and abusive dad. Of course court is not willing to except that wish so I am stuck in the 7th circle of hell here cleaning and cooking 24/7 while lardass here doesn't do a damn thing and constantly rants. These damn counselors are retarded as they are here only for the money and when they actually try to do something about it, my dad manipulates them to think that I'M the problem and he's just sweet and innocent. I have marks on my neck from when he choked me, proving he's not what he seems, yet the government is not willing to get me away from here. My Grandma is someone who says she'll do something and then doesn't do it. {as in taking me in.....}


No money, watching blue progress indicators  - John, Costa Rica, Age 19

Well, I have two jobs in Central America... I get like $1,300 a month (working 14 hours a day, 7 days a week). I can hardly pay for a shitty apartment in a shitty city in an even worse country. No money, watching blue progress indicators all day long while I install illegal copies of Windows on 10 year-old 486 PCs, that's my life.


I missed my mother's funeral - John, Washington, Age 19

My mother got cancer from hazardous materials where she grew up and she got real sick again for about two years.  I met this great girl, we were in love....my first love, she was the only thing that kept me happy while my mom was stuck in bed. She was the best thing in my life. My dad told me about his sexual frustrations and eventually got it on with my neighbor.  When my mom was dying I went to visit my girlfriend and it was then that she decided to dump me for some other asshole.  I was still visiting my "girlfriend" when mom died and I missed her funeral. It's been two years now, my dad re-married that neighbor woman and my life is shit. I'm still not over that girl...now I just sit and watch porn, my ex is still with the same guy, they're "wonderfully happy".....why not me?  what's wrong with me? I loved her first, it's not fair.


I got an abortion and drove myself home - Rachel, Sandusky, Ohio, Age 19

I just turned 19 a few weeks ago and I started dating this 21 year-old guy who already had 2 kids by 2 different girls.  4 days after meeting him, we had sex.  It was to die for.  I told him I couldn't get pregnant, which I thought I couldn't...but I did.  I told him and he got a new girlfriend.  The next week I got busted for giving drugs to a minor..she narked me out.  So, I had to work as an informant for the cops.  Not only was I having morning sickness 24/7, but I had a wire on and I had to use my ex-boyfriend to go to the drug dealer's houses.  Then I got evicted from my apartment.  I got an abortion and drove myself home...I used the last of my money to pay for it.  What a shitty life.


She is medicated, but she is still very crazy - John, West Virginia, Age 14

My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. She has full custody, and I live alone with her and two cats that she talks to. She is medicated, but she is still very crazy. She wants the best for me, but harasses me constantly about small insignificant things. She yells more and more. My mother's psychiatrist  informed the judge that there was only a 1 in 10 chance that my mother would ever physically harm me. 


I hate doing it  - Gina, Baltimore, Age 15

I snuck out of the house to meet my asshole boyfriend who I was totally in love with only to give him head (which I hate doing). He breaks up with me after 2 weeks of love letters and constantly telling me how much he loves me only to find out that he was using me to get some and had no intention of having a serious relationship. All he said to me were pure lies and I would be an "inconvenience" to him when school started again. I got grounded for a month for sneaking out. I am a total loser who always gets used by guys who never REALLY like me and only get hit on by 50yr old men. Fuck everything!!!!!!


Imagine having one leg twice as large as your other - Anonymous, Age 16

My mother, a 650 pound hunk of fat was diagnosed in 1994 with diabetes, she's been forced to stay in her bed ever since.  Due to the fact that she cant even walk to the fucking toilet, my computer addicted father ripped out the bottom of a metal chair, placed a metal bar and taped it over the top, and put a bucket under it. I will spare the details when she takes shits. She can't even wipe her own ass.  So guess who gets to?  Me. 

 I only leave my house for school, and when I do go, I try to avoid everything and everyone.  In late 1997 my father discovered 'Windows' and bought a computer, since then I've been addicted to so-called 'chat' and I rarely make it to school without getting on there, or else I just skip.  The beginning of 1996 the doctors at a local hospital discovered a small hole in my mother's leg.  This caused an indescribable amount of pain for me, I loved my mother.... but the diabetes she had been diagnosed with was eating her inside out.  I also forgot to mention that when I was born, her right leg swelled up the size of 4 watermelons and its never gone down (imagine having one leg twice as large as your other)  My uncle, from Florida, died of cancer about a year ago, and on Christmas, 3 days ago, my grandmother, who I had been dearly close to, died of heart failure.  I've seen 2 counselors and next week I'm due for a doctors appointment.  Hopefully I'll be diagnosed with diabetes or cancer.


I 'm fat yet I don't eat. I'm starving.  - Anonymous, Age 16

I'm fat. So very, very fat. All my life: FAT. I'm 5'6 and I just hit 198 pounds. No one has ever complimented me without saying that I should lose weight. "You have such a cute face and a pretty smile. Have you ever thought about dieting?" Uhhh.... YES. I'm fat yet I don't EAT. I'm starving.

Guys always think I'm the perfect target for sexual harassment. Even my Dad. It's like, gee, let's feel up FAT GIRL because she never gets any and she will be honored. My Dad stuck his penis in my mouth once when I was sleeping. I was about 12 years old. I had no idea what it was. It's gotten much worse since then. I'll spare you details.

My mother hates me. She calls me a whore, a bitch, a cunt and a "nig**r lover". I'm not even black. She calls me the n-word because I told her I thought Martin Luther King would have been a good president. My Mom also hits me if I wake her up. She sleeps all the time. She's a drunk.


I just found out I'm pregnant  - Lisa, California, Age 14

I grew up a very protected life, mainly because I was lied to.  It was no joke that my younger brother was favored, and often time he would go unblamed even when my parents knew better.  From the day I was born my parents have hated me and the only reason they stay together is because on their own they can't make enough to support myself.  My dad spends his days getting drunk and looking at porn, my mom tries to support her drug habits and whatever else she does away from the house.

A few years ago my dad got so sick of my mom that he left and took me with him.  We moved to a house about 250 miles away, where I lived for 2 years until we got evicted from our house because it was condemned.  When we moved back, my life got even worse.  I sunk into depression, stopped eating, and started passing out in school.  I stole just for the fun of it, until I got caught and was constantly berated by my parents.  I'd do anything just to be left alone from them.  Every night my mom manages to hurt me in one way or another (physically) and yet she doesn't seem to care. 

Last spring I fell in love with my sisters friends uncle.  He is 35, and lives with his parents.  He also has 3 kids living with their moms in other states around the U.S. Truthfully, I don't know why I fell in love with him.  I guess I respected him at the time, and felt the need for some form of emotional support.  For a little while it felt great.  I felt loved, cared for, and all. 

I skipped the last week of school to hang out with him.  One day my mom found me and almost called the cops on him, she would have except the court case would have cost too much and it would have made her look bad.  My parents never let me talk to him or see him again.  Me, being the rebellious teen I am, had to see him more.

We had sex several times over the summer and when school started he was forced to move away with his parents.  Truthfully, I don't know why I even did it.  At the time I didn't care about my body at all and didn't care if I got any STD's (which I did).  Well, now it is September and I just found out I'm pregnant.  He is gone to New Jersey, and I'm probably never going to see him again.  I still have yet to tell my family I am pregnant, and when I do I don't know what is going to happen to me.  They will probably kick me out, and I will end up having his 4th child.  I was so stupid, to ever fall in love.  He was my first love, and my last.  I don't have anything to live for anymore, so it seems.


I rack up thousands in phone bills   - Steven, Houston, Age 19

For 6 years I have played a role-playing game with my cousin. It's a long distance call so I rack up thousands of dollars in phone bills because I can't get over the sensation of feeling like I am jumping into another world. I am actual popular, I have very good friends, and I have a loving family. Yet, I can never seem to look on the world with the sensation that something better is out there. The only thing for me is the crude illusion of something better that I hope to escape to every night.


I hate myself, since I  disgraced my mother   - Jani, N. Hollywood, CA, Age 14

My grandfather died when I was 2, I was born into a fatherless family, and my older brother who had a different, HIV infected, homosexual father, enjoyed beating me up, because he had severe anger problems all of his life. When I was 4, my biological father was on his way to see me for the first time, after having many drinks, and wearing shades, on his motorcycle, when he got in an accident and died. 

When I was 5, my friend MoMo died from eating too much glue. When I was 11, I met a girl, who lived down the street from me, and a year after, when she was forced to move to an entirely different kind of city, with whole new people, who tormented her every single day, that they made her insane, and at 12 years old, she hanged herself, in her closet. The thing that sucks though, is that, at about that time, I was starting junior high, and I found out that my mother, who was doing a lot of coke and speed with my future step dad, was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer.. a specific kind that is an extremely hard one to fight. I was forced to move with my grandma, so my friend was unable to contact me, or ask me for any time of help or guidance. 

When I was in the seventh grade, after going back and forth from my grandmothers house, to my uncle, and to my stepdad, who had married my mother just one month prior, my mother died on Valentines Day, 1999 while holding my hand... after a two day long coma like state, during which she threw up all of the insides that the cancer had destroyed. 

While living with my grandma, I was convinced into believing I was loved, by this guy I knew, who was my best friend for two years, and after being screwed twice, he left me a week later for a brainless blond girl, with big breasts. I have done a few drugs, but not too many, with my now 19 year-old older brother who has wasted his incredible mind. I hate myself, knowing I have disgraced my mother. I am not too happy with life.


She showed me the gun  - Mike, Age 15

My Mom molests me just because she hates men.  She was sexually abused as a child but refuses to go to therapy because she thinks it only makes things worse.  I'm afraid to do anything because even the smallest thing can set her off and she's thrown me out of the house more than once, overnight.  My dad committed suicide when I was 5. I'm convinced he did it to get away from her.  She's shown me the gun she is going to kill me with and my only hope is she will do it someday


I want to vomit every time I open my mouth   - Lauren, Ohio, Age 19

Well.....when I was 3 years old my parents divorced and my father gave me up for adoption.  I live with my real mother and my step-father, and their 2 children.  My real father left me with a huge nose which my classmates over the years have enjoyed making fun of.   The one thing that gives my step-dad joy is treating me like shit.  If I put a cup on the wrong side of the sink I suddenly have "shit for brains" or am a "complete waste of flesh".  Because I am not his child I am responsible for treating his children with all the respect that they don't give me.  If my sister were to smack me, as long as I don't smack back, there is no problem. 

My real father also left me with ADD and a bi-polar disorder, in which I'm currently on medication for that makes me want to vomit every time I open my mouth. When I was a freshman in high school, I had a nose job and went to school for 2 weeks with 2 black eyes.  I forgot to mention that my real father died when I was in 7th grade, my one hope of happiness, gone. I flunked out of college because my depression was so severe and have tried to kill myself several times because I can't get over the death of my father.  I'm only 19, and i can't imagine what else is in store for me in this lifetime, if I don't end it first.


I love you grandma - Anonymous, Age 17

I have no life. My whole life revolves around my gramma. She broke her foot so guess who gets volunteered to watch her until she gets to walk again? That's right, me. So there goes my social, love (like I have one) life, and anything i wanted to do ever again. The thing that really sucks is that she is the most bitchiest old lady on earth! sometimes i get so tempted to take her crutches and beat the shit outta her! i used to have a life...but i won't ever see it again.


Everyone makes fun of me   - Anonymous, Age 17

I am a 17 year-old loser in the 9th grade. I should be going into 12th this year. I am handicapped, with a limp, and so of course everyone who looks at me has to make fun of me... But see, that's not the problem. I can understand them making fun of a handicapped girl; they just don't understand. What really pisses me off, is just because I am shy and quiet, and mind my own business, everyone makes fun of me. I guess I am a victim of the assholes with big egos who picks on everyone who are supposedly "weaker" than them, since you know, I am not a whore with a face so full of make-up that I look like a fucking clown! Well life is not good, but what the hell ya gonna do except hope for the best...dying quickly to get outta your miserable life.


I am still haunted by dreams of my past  - Laura, NY, Age 15

As a child I was left with my drunk of a father to fend for myself. I  had no friends because I was.....fat, so when my father told me that I was fat and ugly and no one would ever love I had no one to turn to. My mom worked as a state trooper and got shit on from every man she worked with and when she came home (hardly ever) she would sit there and tell me how much she hated men. I would have to say I agree with her. A few years later my mother became pregnant with a bundle of baby joy which I took care of because no one else in the family had time for a child between drinking, drugs, work, and kicking the shit out of me. Now my sister has gotten a bit older and has forgotten all the shit I have done for her. My mom has recently been fired from the state police because she hurt her back and is now emotionally and physically unstable. My father still drinks and tells me that I am worth nothing. Although I have lost weight and gained friends I am still haunted by dreams of my past and an obsession with cutting myself to lesson my pain.


How could anyone take a squishy girl seriously?  - Christaliana, Long Island, Age 16

I am an extremely blonde and squishy person. My entire life consists of people poking me and making comments like "awww.... so fluffy!" This has done nothing but helped to shatter my self-confidence. I've never had a serious boyfriend, because how could anyone take a squishy girl seriously? Every night I go home and cry and listen to Tori Amos for hours. I know Tori would understand me, but no one else does. Another problem of mine is that I am addicted to menstrual pain medication. When I take too much, I hallucinate that I am in Italy, kissing British boys. As you can imagine, this is very painful for me when I come to my senses. I don't know how I can ever get help for this. Also, my three year old sister beats me. Good night.


That's not the worst part  - Anonymous, Age 16

I think God enjoys torturing me.  First of all, I am obsessed with Brotha Lynch and Dragonball Z (what a combo) so you can imagine what a big loser I am. Everyone (even my so called friends) calls me Cave Troll.  That's not the worst part, the few friends I do have all treat me like shit.  My best friend since 1st grade now will only hang out with me if her boyfriend is out of town or too busy to fuck her.  My other friend turned into a Wiccan and now hates me.  I don't know why.  My parents found out I smoke the dope and now I can't even walk into my house without them searching my pockets/backpack/whatever else could have pot in it.  The only two guys I have ever loved, one turned out to be gay, and the other one hates me now and I don't know why.  And the high point of my day was finding out that one of my extension cords had an empty socket so I could plug in my lamp.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch DBZ with the sound turned off so I can hear "Black Market".  Peace!


I've never even touched a girl   - Anonymous, Age 19

I am a 19 year old college student who is still a virgin. I probably only weigh 100 pounds and I am white as a ghost. My dick is 7 inches long but its also skinny and is badly curved downward. I am afraid to let a woman see my penis because it looks so weird and I am ashamed of my thin body. I also live in a 2 bedroom trailer with my parents and sister. My dad runs a shit-ass little business that hardly makes any money. I make more money than he does with my little shit-ass job. I've NEVER had a girlfriend, I've never even touched a girl in any sexual way, and I've never even seen a live naked woman except in pornos. I am sick of masturbation and I only do it out of habit. I sit in front of my computer constantly and stare blindly at my screen while fits of depression and rage control my mind. It wont be long before I either kill myself or my life makes a turn for the better.


I can't do anything right  - Anonymous, Sydney, Australia, Age 15

I am incompetent, I am extremely shy and make millions of little mistakes every day. I can't do anything right. My friends say I am boring and they never invite me out on weekends. I spend my life online, only leaving the house for school. When I go outside people in the street laugh at me and make unusual comments. I walk in an unusual way because I'm  so self-conscious, this causes more people to look and say things. My teachers constantly "test" me, saying I must open the cupboard with the keys, I fumble and drop the keys and can't get the key in the hole. I've had one girlfriend which lasted for only one week, we didn't even hold hands in that time. I just wish I was born in a different body, then I would be more confident.


He continues to break my heart   - Roxy, Miami, Age 16

Well I'm only 16 and everything sucks. I've been in love with the same guy for 2 years who happens to be my best friend. He was my boyfriend for about 2 months until he broke up with me. He only asked me out because of pity. He has a physical attraction with me but that's it. We kiss all the time and he cheated on his girlfriend with me, and although he knows I'm completely in love with me he continues to tell me how he loves this other girl. Yet at the same time he kisses me. This girl broke up with him and after being devastated and using me as his mop of tears, he is now going to ask this other girl to be his girlfriend. He's my best friend but he continues to break my heart everyday. I cry every hour, I can't sleep, I can barely smile and if I do its fake. Everyone else in my life is too superficial to care, and my parents are computer addicts. Everything he does hurts me and I get intense mood swings because of what he does. I am completely obsessed in the most unhealthy way and I'm a loon.


I spend 40% of my time crying  - Samantha, Michigan, Age 15

I'm 15 years old and my life really sucks, my father killed himself when I was 12. My mother told me this morning that I make her sick. I would kill myself but I wouldn't want to put her through that again. I can't get a guy. My friends really don't give a shit about me and they dis me all the time. I have a chronic swearing problem which I'm trying to control (maybe then I will get a guy). I turn to alcohol to solve my problems which creates more. I'm lazy as hell and I'm gaining weight. I've been through 3 shrinks, one tried to molest me and another one get offered another job so he just left me with the damn anti-depressants which I devolved a dependency on. I spend 40% of my time crying and I'm only 15!


I was always short, fat, and had a high-pitched voice - Wally, Florida, Age 18

I have lived with my mother for my entire life, no father.  My mother has never been married, I'm a bastard child, and so is my half-sister, who is 10 years younger than me.  She is from the coupling of my mother and an abusive car mechanic who hated me, and lived with us for the first 6 years of her life.  I was always short, fat, and had a high pitched voice.  I moved 13 times and went to 11 different schools between 1st grade and 12th grades.  We moved so much because my mom couldn't keep any good waitress jobs, and cops kept sending out warrants for the mechanic, for \ operating a crackhouse where we lived.  I lived in Tucson, AZ, and was the only white kid in the entire school.  I got my ass beat every day for a year, until we moved again.  Now live in Florida, land of the old people, and concrete.  Gangs suck, and I still get my ass kicked by people all the time.  NO friends in school.  I'm uncircumcised, and girls who see my penis think it looks funny and wont have sex with me.  It is also deformed, the skin wont withdraw off the head, and it stretches the skin and causes pain whenever I have an erection. 


I can't even pleasure him orally  - Charlotte, NZ, Age 19

I have a fungal infection that makes my face grow spontaneous deformities.  It is inoperable. It makes it impossible to eat. I have a boyfriend who uses me for sex. But he only takes me anally as he says "the vagina is the house of the Devil" and refuses to have normal sex. I can't even pleasure him orally as my mouth is so swollen most of the time, it's painful.


I lost all my possessions to the pawn shop  - Bret, Victoria, BC, Age 17

My parents are drug addicts off and on all the time, cocaine and heroin. We lost our house and I lost all my possessions to the pawn shop. It took me two years of working degradingly as a door-to-door salesman for a shitty newspaper to get all that stuff. It didn't make me happy anyway. This girl I knew for three weeks made me happy, even though she was just teasing me, but she told me she didn't like me "that way" and then she had sex with one of my best friends. I've practically dropped out of school, graduating would only mean I'd have to think about crap like moving out anyway. I have 5 dollars to my name, unless for some reason you count the IOU for $900 from my parents that I'm never going to see any of.


I'm too afraid to get undressed at the doctor's office  - Brigitte, NY, Age 17

For about a year I've had some kind of urinary tract infection, and I've seen a couple of doctors but they are too stupid to diagnose it correctly. The male doctors seem to be even more stupid and I no longer trust their species. What's worse is that I'm too afraid to get undressed at the doctor's office so I won't let them examine me; not that they NEED to, because it should be obvious. Now I'm on some crappy medication that screws me up mentally and does NOTHING for my problem. I'm wondering if that damned urologist was even listening to me. Mom says he's the same guy that did Dad's vasectomy. Thanks for sharing, Mom. Are you sure he didn't accidentally cut off Dad's penis? Oh wait, I saw it that day when it was hanging out of his boxers. That scarred me for life, too. Sex sucks.


I lost my dad when I was five  - Crystal, Kentucky, Age 15

Life sucks...I lost my dad when I was five and my mom blames me for being just like him. He used to beat me and my family and she tells me how I'm just like him. Even though I miss my father terribly she still tells me how bad I am...even when I go out of my may to make Mothers' Day great for her...I hate life so much....


People suck ass  - Jared, TX, Age 15

I have no friends but people use me. Then they go off on the weekend and leave me in the dust. Well fuck that. I don't carry money anymore, so that's gone and so are lots of friends. People pretend to like me or be my acquaintance but I never do anything on the weekend. I'm not ugly or mean to people and I'm not gay so people have no reason not to like me. But they pretend to so it pisses me off. People suck ass.


Leaves me with nothing, yet again  - Sarah, USA, Age 19

I fall in love too hard... I fell in love with my ex of 4 yrs, yet he left me 3 months before we were supposed to get married. I then fell in love with a guy I thought could be "the one".  He was beautiful, extremely intelligent, and kind (or so I thought). This supposed Mr. Right is in love with someone that doesn't love him yet he's decided if he can't have her he won't have anyone at all... which leaves me with nothing, yet again. Nothing except for the 40+ truckers who hit on me every night as I work 3rd shift, trying to hide from the world. Trying to pretend that tomorrow will be a better day.


I hope there is no life after death  - Andrew, Wales, Age 17

Until my parents divorced my dad used to beat the hell out of me for looking at him. He now refuses to pay child support. I have to support my disabled sister, 15 year old brother, and my mother who is falling apart more each day. My "job" is selling home grown marijuana to little pricks that I would kill if I could get away with it.

I caught something from my first girlfriend. I'm too ashamed to get involved with anyone else and because with my life who could I get. Everyone thinks I'm a Satanist including teachers (I am not) because I listen to heavy metal.
The friends I have are cool but everyone shits on them cuz they are like me;  all the girls have self-inflicted cuts and the guys get abused or have been abused in some way by someone in their life. Everything is wrong with the outside world and if I was god I would have no qualms about wiping the world clean. Nothing has been accomplished I hope there is no life after death so I can finally rest


Unfortunately I get these infections monthly  - Michelle, Berekeley, CA, Age 18

I have a horrible yeast infection which leaves me unable to sleep through the night.   I wake up with scars in the morning. My cootchie now looks like a picked scab.  Maybe scabies will be next.  And if you haven't ever had a  yeast infection, they are hell.  Yeast infections mean no sex!!! And unfortunately I get these infections monthly. Between the weeks my bf is out of town, the week I have my infection, and the week I have my period, I get NO sex.  NONE.  I'm in college that's what we're suppose to do: have sex. 

My floor in the dormitory is a bunch of inexperienced, lame, immature, people who like to take big shits, don't flush, and like to jack off in the shower I must use the next morning.  And my room smells, my roommate and I have have moldy everything, and we have fruit flies. The dorm food gives everyone around me bad gas which I must live near.  To make matters worse, my roommate steals my underwear, wears them, puts them back in my drawer as if they were clean, and then denies the whole.  I even think that's why I've been getting my yeast infection...because come to think it she had an infection "down there" at the same time.  that bitch!!!!!!!!


She wants me to have a sex change  - Tammy, TX, Age 19

I go by the name Tammy but my real name is Danny.  My mother has forced me to dress like a girl for as long as I can remember.  My older sister died in a house fire caused my my mother smoking in bed.  No she calls me by her name and colors my hair just like my sisters hair.  The worst moments in my life are bath time when she makes me hold my penis between my legs so she can't see it and bathes me.  She wants me to have a sex change and has been coaching me on what to say so it can be done.  I told her I will let her give me breast implants but I don't want them to cut off my penis.  She just said it's not the same as being the whole girl we really know I am inside.  I don't know what to do.


I am deformed so badly I can never have sex again  - Angela, NY, Age 16

When I was 15, I got pregnant from a guy who said he loved me.  The day he found out, he dumped me for my sister.  I couldn't tell my parents, so I tried to give myself an abortion with a coat hanger.  The good news is that it succeeded.  The bad news is that I can never have children and I am deformed so badly I can never have sex again.  Every boy I meet dumps me as soon as they find out they won't be getting any.  Oh yeah, my sister got herpes from the jerk.  Serves the whore right.


There must be something wrong with me  - Sarah, Age 19

Every guy I date uses me as practice.  They have a serious relationship with me in order to prepare themselves for the right one, then they leave me with a broken heart.  I am everyone's therapist.  And I have never dated someone who hasn't cheated on me.  I'm attractive, but yet there must be something wrong with me.  No one can handle loving me, and i can't handle being loved by no one


My new girlfriend is a Dell computer  - Rob, Florida, Age 18

I'm 18, 5'9", 100lb, and obscenely white. I've been a virgin my whole life until 3 months ago when a girl finally took pity on me, I got her pregnant... My mom is a drunken hooker, she's been married so many times I can count my step dads on both my hands (which are very raw at the moment). I have no friends, my new girlfriend is a new Dell computer. Did I mention my cat committed suicide before me? She took a diving header off the 4th story balcony. And, having a strange armpit fetish isn't helping my social situation.


My entire family was eaten by Black bears  - Rupert, Pine Bluffs, TN, Age 19

My life sucks. I mean it. Check this out. I was born with one leg shorter then the other and all the kids in kindergarten called me club foot. I've never been with a girl mostly because of my terrible acne and my painfully difficult stutter. My entire family was eaten by Black bears (which brought on my stutter) on a trip to Yellowstone when I was 4. The bear gnawed my foot off (hence the club foot) So I was brought up an orphan. I was sexually and mentally abused for 10 years in the orphanage and often sold for sexual favors to Hillbillies from Tennessee. I was able to befriend one of the Hillbillies he sent me to school and fed me. I had to be his slave but it was worth it to get out of the unhealthy situation in the orphanage. Oh Billy Joe Bob is coming and I got to get off the 'puter and get back to work. 


I still haven't gone through puberty  - Raymond, Bethlehem, PA, Age 17

My mom died giving birth to me.  I only have four fingers on each hand.  My testicles never descended, and after my mom died, my dad was trying to support six kids on a shitty job.  So, I couldn't pay for the surgery.  Throughout middle school, some stupid schmuck in gym found out about my problem, and then everyone called me "shemale."  Now I'm in high school and still haven't gone through puberty, and probably never will.  My hormones still haven't kicked in and I failed typing class twice.  My stupid school is making me take it over again!  My dad is now stuck collecting urine samples at the hospital.  I'm too stupid to ever make it anywhere in college, so my life will probably end up with me in the street and forever being a virgin.  Damn, does my life suck.


I'd buy a gun to kill myself   - Joseph, Pittsburgh, PA, Age 18

From the age of 5 to 13 my father and my uncle sodomized me. I was in a car accident, killing my mom and causing me to lose the use of my left arm from a large piece of wood that impaled me from one of the fences we ran into. I love to draw, and was planning on going to the field of arts, but I was left handed. No girl likes me because of my scars and dead arm that is going to be amputated soon.  I'd buy a gun and kill myself but I have a few felony charges that are floating around my miserable life. I'm on probation right now and all I want to do is O.D. and die.


Do not have pity on me because I deserve what I get  - Anonymous, Age 18

I am a complete loser... I tell lies, I do 'roids, I annoy people, I made my parents get divorced.  I pretend to be a great track athlete meanwhile I get no respect for that because everyone knows I am a liar. In high school I was the official loser. My dad does crack and collects Mickey Mantle cards. He fights with kids about baseball cards. Yes, I am a loser, and do not have pity on me because I deserve what I get. 


The children laugh at the missing skin on my face  - SK, San Clemente, CA, Age 19

I serve popcorn all day to rich yuppie bastards. They yell at me when I put a little too much butter on their popcorn, meanwhile the scalding butter is eating through my flesh. All I have to look forward to each day is getting my ass beaten at a video game by small children. Then the children laugh at the missing skin on my face. Thanks Hot Butter, thanks a lot.


Mr Fuckhead  - Renee-Anne, Alberta, Age 19

The bastard messed everything up. My parents got divorced...my dad's car got stolen...my cat muffin died...a week later another cat Norman ran away...then my mom's car got burned...then my uncle died and then my grandpa died...everything happened as soon as Mr Fuckhead  came along.  Plus, I am 19 and never got a boyfriend or a job and I almost died. I don't have my own apartment [which means I now live with the bastard and mom and my sister].  All we do is get in fight with Mr Fuckhead and tonight we almost [90% close] got hit by him.  He's really scary looking when he's mad!  


I feel guilty for looking at cyber porn - Jacob, Chicago, Age 18

Not only does my life suck, I suck! I'm a hypocrite and a liar. I'm so lonely I've tell women that I'll do anything, but no one has taken up the offer, that's when you know your a loser. At that I'm a Christian and I truly believe in God and the Bible, though I have wanted to break every commandment. I'm virgin, never smoked or did drugs, my mother is abusive to my whole family, including my father. I have no real friends, just guys I hangout with. I feel guilty for looking at cyber porn and going into chat rooms to have cybersex with women. I'm miserable with my existence, but I won't commit suicide because I'm afraid of going to hell and grieving my family. I want to do all kinds of things but I don't have the guts to, all the girls I ever wanted to date tell me about their boyfriends. I go to a community college that I'm ok at only because I screwed-up my college apps in high school. I lie to people about what kind of person I am, people think I'm just a good Christian boy, when I read write and look at porn any chance I get, pretending to be a "badboy" online. I hate myself, all the lies, who I am, GOD HELP ME!!! I'm a complete loser and screw-up and still I want people to talk to me, I'm so alone!


The steroids are making me break out too  - JC, Dallas, Age 16

I keep getting ditched by my friends. I got my ass beat in a drunk fight with someone who was littler than I was and that was not drunk. I had tickets to Family Values but the concert was postponed so I couldn't go. My friends are always gettin' girls and I'm the quiet one waitin' for them to finish. I had backstage passes to the Creed, Our Lady Peace and Oleander concert but got them takin' away by my parents cause I got a M.I.P. (minor in possesion) I do drugs and shit but I recently stopped so know I'm really depressed. Steroids are makin' me break out too. My friends are runnin' a train on this fine ass girl right now and I think I'm gonna go bust in. The only fine girl who ever liked me and let me hit moved away, I have no car. All the coaches hate my ass, ah well, FUCK EM ALL.


I feel like Travis Bickle - Fae, Maine, Age 19

I am lonely: Constantly.  I am living in a hick state and I go days without a real conversation.  I feel like Travis Bickle.


Pray for me!   - Anonymous, Tulsa, OK, Age 18

I'm 18 years old and I'm still a virgin and I have a small penis, and nobody in my school wants a guy w/a small dick so it looks like I'm shit out of luck. My dick is the size of an average thumb! I'm not kidding either. Pray for me!!!!!


On a good day I sleep 16 hours   - JR, Wisconsin, Age 17

Well, let's start out by saying I just woke up (it's 2:40 am here) after I went to sleep at 11:00 am yesterday. This is my daily routine, wake up, sit around wondering why the hell I'm still alive, go to sleep. Real exciting, huh. I have no job, no gf, I dropped out of school because I'm such a loser. Oh yeah, I have no life too, maybe you've figured that out by now. To entertain myself I masturbate, inflict pain on myself through various methods, and take daily visits to porn and snuff sites. Sometimes i do a combination, you know, like masturbate to snuff, and take my razorblade and cut myself while viewing porn. On a good day I sleep 16 hours, and maybe by now you've found out I'm still a virgin, add to that the fact that after all this shit I've gone through, I'm going to be rewarded by ending up dead. Wow, could life get any fucking better.


This bullshit called life  - Michelle, California, Age 15

Let's see, my grandpa died when I was 8, my dad died this year, I feel alone and betrayed. My first boyfriend dumped me because I wasn't pretty enough for him. The first guy I ever loved was a controlling, manipulative, cheating Jerk. I was with him for over a year. My family treats me like shit, and the one guy I love right now doesn't love me back. I swear to god if one more thing goes wrong, I'm out of this bullshit called life.


Life is one let-down after another  - Mark, Pennsylvania, Age 17

My story is simple, there is this girl in school that I am head over heels about.  She must find it amusing to lead me on and make it appear that she likes me back.  Well, today, I find out that she had messed around with one of my "friends" at this party.  Yeah, that one felt just great to hear, every gut-retching second of the story.  So, I've come to the conclusion that life is one let-down after another.  I no longer feel death or the way that I will die.  It seems that getting out of this world is all that I have to look forward to anymore.  Hopefully the saying "it's always darkest before the dawn" will prove to be true. 


Everyone on Earth hates me   - Anonymous, Ohio, Age 14

I hate life. Everyone on Earth hates me. My friends dis me right behind my back. There is not one girl on Earth that likes me (unless they are a whore), and I am the stupidest bitch you'll ever meet.


I never felt quite normal  - Nigel, Australia, Age 19

My troubles started when I was very young.  My mother had a weird and sexual obsession with cucumbers. I found out later when I was older exactly what she was doing with the cucumbers. It was worse when I remembered that she often served us cucumber soup. From then on I never felt quite normal. I had few friends at school except for my pet donkey "spanky" who I had a close relationship with. When I was seventeen I went to a small town where I met a young man who had no mattress so I bought him one out of kindness. He took this the wrong way and raped me on it several times. I found this very upsetting and decided to tell the cops. I spoke to one and he put me in the overnight lock up claiming that I was a pedophile as the young man was only fifteen. THE DUMB FUCK GOT AWAY WITH IT!!!  Three years later I met a nice woman.  She had an obsession with pot belly pigs. That didn't last long as I later found out that she was screwing them on a regular basis.  My life sux and I'm seriously considering committing suicide unless I meet a normal person.


I'm this big pathetic little piece of shit  - Heidi, California, Age 17

Well first of all, I never really had a happy life. Everyone gave me a hard time because I'm not smart enough or pretty enough. Since my existence here, I get picked on, bitched at, etc. And the worse--in junior high some guy made a fake marijuana joint out of notebook paper and mocked the hell outta me. So I have no b/f because I'm this big pathetic little piece of shit and an unlucky woman. I get bad luck ALL THE TIME! I started to chat on AOL Instant Messenger with guys all around the world. I send them some picture of me with my shitty parents and they said how hot, beautiful, gorgeous I am. What a bunch of fuckin' liars! They're just saying that to make me feel better! Better my ass! They really want me to drop dead! ANTI-LIFE FOREVER AND EVER!


Backseat barf - Anonymous, West Virginia, Age 16

I was in the backseat of my friend's car and him and his g/f were up front, we were riding around at night on these back-roads drinking some beer. Later, his g/f tells him to stop the car cuz she was sick, so he stopped and she opened the door and starting puking outside. While she was leaning over barfing, she began farting loudly. I was in the back dying laughing and my friend got mad at me and ended up getting out, opening the back door, dragging me out and beating my ass and leaveing me out there. I had to walk 2 hrs to get to a pay phone and call for a ride. While I was waiting at the pay phone, a cop pulled up and I got a public intoxication charge and an underage consumption charge.


That's all people think I am  - Leelee, West Coast, Age 15

You know what I am? I am a slut. Well, according to everyone at school. Yes, I do have sex. Yes, I talk about it. But I don't go around screwing every guy I see. Which is what some people's perception is of me. They constantly talk behind my back, but act 'buddy-buddy' with me when I'm around. They also tell stories about me, and when they run out of them... they just make up false ones. "She fu*ked _____!", "She gave ______ a blowj*b!", "What? You didn't know? Where have you been?". And when I try to set people straight, they say: "Well... OK. But there has to be some truth to it. Right?". It's no use. That's all people think I am... and all they think I will be.


So fuck this shitty world  - Mike, MN, Age 15

My mom died when I was 12. Then my dad married this bitch that had to move us out to hickville that does jack for me and I sit in my bug infested basement room with nothing to do and no friends here in this hickville while my stepbrother gets everything cuz my dad is p*ssywhipped and he plays football so he is god to them.  Plus I can't get a job cuz I'm always doing shit for them without getting paid and my dad steals the money I'm supposed to be getting from my mom's social security and spends it on my stepbrother's car, while I cannot get a car cuz my dad says I have to work for it, while I still cannot get a job... so fuck this shitty world


Courage  - John,  16

I don't have the courage to express my feelings.


I think I might commit eldercide  - Rockford, Palm Springs, Age 19

I'm choking to death on my own malaise, I'm trapped in a city full of old people & losers, neither of which I give a shit about. I can't get out, because I can't make it financially & I can't take staying here for much longer because I think I might commit eldercide & kill every purple haired old woman or Korean War vet I see. To hell with the elderly, The youth shall inherit the earth & destroy their fetid old selves.


This place dumps - Anonymous, Age 18

This country called America is a shithole. Nothing goes right, unless you are a rich, deceiving, and cheating fat man called a leader. The people here are so frickin discourteous. When I can, it's off to another country fer me.  This place sux completely. It's sliding backwards into 3rd world. Crime so high, the only way to succeed is to cheat and lie. Anything can be bought here, even getting outta jail. This place dumps.


Damn This All - Jason, Binghamton, Age 19

First of all, my sympathies go out to the NH driving guy. I used to live in NH and I thought, "Damn, NH is the crappiest place in the world. Nothing can be worse than this!" So, I went away to college in Syracuse and my parents move me to Binghamton. Binghamton sucks hardcore. There is NOTHING here. No radio, no places to hang, no friend, no friendly people. Ok, damn this all.


Never Drive in New Hampshire - Rick, 18, New Hampshire

I got into an accident last month.

Seems some idiot was going about 60 in a 30 as I was trying to go straight at a 2-way stop sign. I looked to the right-twice-and saw NOTHING. So I went for it. Just then, the other car sped out of nowhere and tried to get around me. I hit him instead...he knocked my car into a 45 degree angle in the middle of the road and took most of my front end into the grass on the side of the road.

This is only the beginning.

Since I'm only 18 years old, no matter what actually happened, I am at fault. He could have been drunk off his ass and I still would have been blamed because of my "inexperience." My insurance shot up drastically. I was cited for Failure to Yield. And, worst of all, I had no car.

I got a car. It's a piece of crap. It's an automatic. It smokes, shakes, stalls, smells...you get the picture. I hate it. The first time I had it inspected, it failed. That was actually kind of a ray of hope. But as it turns out I was just being screwed over by the garage. They wanted to charge me $300 for work my car didn't actually need. They also forgot to put my registration back in the car, and when I was pulled over later that day, I didn't have it. (side note: The cop asked me about 10 times if I had anything illegal in the car. He thought, uh-oh! Teenagers! They must have drugs! and wouldn't take no for an answer)

Then my insurance company kept complaining that we hadn't sent them everything. They'd send us one letter asking for one thing, then they'd ask for another, and another...they couldn't just ask for copies of the registration, title, my license, etc. all at once, right?


Worst of all, I just received word YESTERDAY that, since I am under 20 years old and was convicted of a moving violation, I will lose my license for 20 days starting this Monday. My life didn't suck before this, but damn...it sure does now! Never drive in New Hampshire.


Top 5 Tales of Woe

Angst-Ridden Teens | Terrible Twenties 
Three hOrrific
| Forgettable Forties  
Feeble Fifties
 | Herpes Sucks 

 


 

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